Seven Ways Being a Doula Prepared Me for My Birth

By Liz Martin

I gave birth in September 2017, about five years after I became a doula. I had a low-risk pregnancy, so was able to have a low-intervention and unmedicated birth at Baby+CO, a free-standing birth center run by nurse midwives. Click here to read my birth story.

My birth was the 66^th birth I attended, so I had a good idea of what to expect, and in fact, I couldn’t imagine a better way to prepare for the most challenging emotional and physical experience of my life. Here are seven ways being a doula prepared me for my own birth.

1) I didn’t fear birth

In our culture, there is a lot of fear surrounding birth. From not knowing what to expect, fear of pain, inaccurate media representations of birth, distrust in care providers, feeling overwhelmed by all the birth choices, navigating hospitals and insurance, the list goes on. Dealing with all of this is oftentimes why people hire a doula, so as a doula I have come to feel knowledgeable and comfortable with most aspects of birth that people fear.

While pregnant, I felt a lot of curiosity and wonder – what would my birth be like? How would it feel? How long would it last? Would I be able to have my baby at the birth center or would I be transferred? What will my baby be like? There were a lot of unknowns, but as a doula, I had seen many people go through one of the most challenging experiences of their lives. I had seen how hard it could be, and I had seen all my clients come out on the other side, exhausted but euphoric. More importantly, I knew if complications arose or things went wrong, that my midwives would know what to do. I trusted my body, my baby and my midwives, and I felt no fear.

2) My body was in alignment

As a doula I give a lot of advice on keeping my clients’ bodies in alignment – most commonly my advice includes regular massages, chiropractic adjustments, Spinning Babies exercises and yoga. When your body is aligned, there is as much space as possible in the uterus for the baby to go and stay in an optimal position (head down, chin tucked, back towards your front (Occiput Anterior)).

So when I got pregnant I thought it would be a good idea to take my own advice! I strongly believe that keeping my body aligned ensured my baby was in an optimal position, which is part of the reason I only pushed for 30 minutes.

3) I stayed home as long as possible

The first 24 hours of my birth were spent at home with my husband – trying to rest, taking baths and showers, eating, drinking, watching TV. The whole time I wanted it to be time to go to the birth center and I wanted my birth to be over, but because my contractions weren’t very close together, I knew to stay home. Staying home meant fewer possibilities for interventions, more control over the environment we were in, fewer people talking to me or touching me.

For the birth I wanted, home was the best place for me to be during early and most of active labor.

4) I didn’t pay attention to how far apart my contractions were

While I birthed at home I had a general idea of how far apart my contractions were, but I didn’t track them with an app or write down the time of each contraction. I needed to turn inward and not pay attention to numbers or anything that would take me out of my “birth brain.” Being able to disconnect from that information allowed my body to just do what it needed to do. I paid more attention to how intense my contractions were, the increasing pressure in my pelvis, when I could no longer lay down during a contraction, when I vomited and when I was just so fed up that I needed a change of scenery, which is when we decided to head into the birth center.

5) I knew that while I was feeling the most intense sensations of my life, as long as my midwives were happy I knew that everything was ok

One of the most uniquely beautiful aspects of birth is that the more miserable and exhausted the birthing person becomes, and the more and more intense their pressure waves, the happier the midwives.

ME: I need to vomit
MIDWIFE: That is a great sign!

ME: I feel like my body is splitting in two    
MIDWIFE: Beautiful!

ME: I feel like I’m pooping
MIDWIFE: You’re doing everything right!

ME: I fucking hate this
MIDWIFE: The baby is almost here! Yay!

ME: This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I can’t possibly do this, this is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE
MIDWIFE: You are a beautiful, capable, amazing goddess of the sun and of course you can do this, you have more power and strength within you than you know, and YOU ARE DOING THIS

As long as my midwives were happy and calm, I knew I could completely lose my shit and that everything would be okay. And completely lose my shit, I did. Midwives are amazing humans who hold space for people to do this EVERYDAY. Midwives are my heroes.

6) I knew I could do it, even though I kept saying I couldn’t

Saying “I can’t do this” was almost involuntary for me; birth just seems so impossible in the moment – the intensity, the pressure, the opening of your body is surreal and unlike anything else you experience in everyday life. Many people say they can’t do it while giving birth, which is why it’s critical for them to surround themselves with people who know they can do it and will meet those negative thoughts with positive ones at every turn. I was lucky enough to have that with my midwives, my husband, mother and step-daughter. And I also had the honor of seeing all my clients do it. I knew it could be done, eventually it would be over, and my baby would be in my arms.

7) I knew mothers and babies are resilient

When I had a severe hemorrhage and had to be transferred about 5 minutes after Harrison was born, I was grateful I mostly knew what to expect. As a doula, I’ve had birth center clients who needed to be transferred to a hospital – before, during or even after birth due to various complications.

Although it was heart breaking to be separated from Harrison immediately after giving birth, I knew that as soon as we were reunited that I would hold him against my skin close to my heart and it would be as if no time had passed. Of course, being able to hold your baby the first hours of their life is ideal, but when it’s not possible, it just makes the time you are reunited that much more important and special. Mothers and babies can bounce back from any number of complications and challenges, and I was so grateful to know that when I was separated from Harrison during my hospital transfer.